terezi-owns2:

THE LITTLE KID NEXT DOOR JSUT OPENED HIS WINDOW AND YELLED “WHAT IS 27 PLUS 4” AND I YELLED “IT’S 31” AND HE SAID “THANK YOU GOD LADY” IM LAUGIHNG

(Source: terezisprite2)

ikea-graveyard:

Okay this white dude had a black girlfriend and they were walking by me and the dude said, “you know what babe, realtors are so lazy when it comes to financing” and she literally replied with, “why do you have to talk about the most boring shit, Steve”.


f1ux:

sinningbravely:

Grab the wall, gas pedal gas pedal

pmsohmygudness

(Source: ultravioletmoon)

Tell people there’s an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you;

Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to make sure.


George Carlin (via damn-peasants)
reblog if ur an ethereal being of pure light

(Source: tnogue)

allysbrookes asked:
you reblogged my gifs yay

thanks for making them!